Till Kindom Come
by SparklySequins
Summary: A HarryRuth thing with a Coldplay song per chapter... I am really bad a summaries...Three chapters at once... SORRY! It is finished at last. Spooks isnt mine.
1. Trouble

**Right then, a proper fic! Miracles do happen! I promise it will get cheerful later! The next few chapters will probably be up quite soon!**

**Thanks to Em for the title and for being wonderful, and to Gems and Kate! hugs**

Disclaimer: I do not own Spooks or Coldplay.

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**Trouble**

A feeling of numbness coursed through every inch of her frozen body. A body she knew would be frozen for eternity.

_Oh no, I see,  
A spider web is tangled up with me,  
And I lost my head,  
The thought of all the stupid things I said,  
Oh no what's this?  
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,  
So I turned to run,  
The thought of all the stupid things I've done,_

Harry the love of her life fading into a murky sunrise that felt, ironically, more like a sunset. She found it impossible to comprehend the whirlwind, or rather hurricane, of events that had raged, caused irreparable damage, and finally left her uprooted and snapped in two. Now there was nothing.

I never meant to cause you trouble,  
And I never meant to do you wrong,  
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,  
Oh no, I never meant to do you harm.

She knew it would take weeks to even comprehend the unthinkable and analyse the mass of data and numbers and years more to accept it, if she ever managed to. She couldn't cry, she couldn't do anything except stand on the edge and feel the laws of magnetism and basic science broken. So unnatural.

Oh no I see,  
A spider web and it's me in the middle,  
So I twist and turn,  
But here I am in my little bubble,

A new identity; a new start: a life more ordinary for an extraordinary person. Blending in to colours where she did not belong. Her family, the team, behind her were they gone forever? Left, together, to deal with the aftermath of scandal and the vultures that gorged upon it. All she could do was stare, alone, at a chasm-esque present, a gaping hole.

_  
Singing, I never meant to cause you trouble,  
I never meant to do you wrong,  
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,  
Oh no, I never meant to do you harm._

Bitterness complemented the numbness as she thought of Mace, the man who had destroyed the fabric of her being. Her fists clenched and every bone in her empty body screamed to fight back. To not leave, yet when trapped in a black widows web, what could she do but die?

They spun a web for me,  
They spun a web for me,  
They spun a web for me.


	2. Spies

**Another chapter! This writing stuff is contagious... Thankyou for the reviews of last chapter!!! hugs There is nothing like fic overkill on a Wednesday night!**

See last chapter for disclaimer...

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**Spies**

She arrived at the small bland house; her fingers shaking as she forced the key into the lock, annoyed at its smug fit. She dropped her identity in the hallway and stumbled up the stairs. She collapsed onto the mattress stared at the ceiling and began to grieve.

_I awake to find no peace of mind  
I said, how do you live as a fugitive  
Down here where I cannot see so clear  
I said, what do I know  
Show me the right way to go_

Harry found himself back at the Grid. When his heart was on a barge with a familiar dark haired stranger what else was left? Submerged back into his own murky world he began to swim and drift aimlessly through the undercurrents.

And the spies came out of the water  
But you're feeling so bad 'cause you know  
That the spies hide out in every corner  
But you can't touch them no  
'Cause they're all spies

A new day, and another attempt at resolve and strength began. The, monotonous, familiar pattern: getting up, becoming the legend, going to work and returning late in the evening to cry herself to sleep. She clung to her new job, a lecturer, as if it was her only lifeline. It was her only life line.

They're all spies

Surrounded by his team, yet isolated from everything he needed. He stood by her grave.

_  
I awake to see that no one is free  
We're all fugitives  
Look at the way we live  
Down here, I cannot sleep from fear, no  
I said, which way do I turn  
Oh, I forget everything I learn_

One day she knew she would have to change, throw the box away and become her legend. Abandon hope and love and live for a stranger's future. To accept the fate she had been given and move on. Yet how could she leave her love behind?

That the spies came out of the water  
But you're feeling so bad cause you know  
Though spies hide out in every corner  
But you can't touch them, no  
'Cause they're all spies

People had used his weakness. When Ros said Ruth was his "rose-tinted blind-spot" she was right for reasons she did not understand. He had failed to protect her, he had left himself vulnerable to attack and blackmail. Now, months later vultures still lurked in the shadows using her as cover and snatching yet more innocent victims, like Sally last month. _  
_

_  
They're all spies_

Looking over her shoulder at every turn. Was she alone? Yes isolated and lost.

And if we don't hide here  
They're going to find us  
If we don't hide now  
They're gonna catch us where we sleep  
And if we don't hide here  
They're gonna find us

He had nightmares. He hoped she was safe, or at the very least in no danger. Yet he knew one day she inevitably would be. Someone would find out their secret. This perpetual worry haunted him at every turn.

But the spies came out of the water  
But you're feeling so good cause you know  
Though spies hide out in every corner  
That they can't touch you, no  
'Cause they're just spies

Two years later on New Years Eve Nicola sipped her champagne, watched the fire works and laughed with her friends. Ruth was a distant memory too painful to view in retrospect, so she lay in the shadows. Waiting, wanting, wishing.

They're just spies  
They're just spies  
They're just spies  
They're just spies


	3. In My Place

**In My Place**  


In his house, he laid and stared at the ceiling, it had been two years since she fled. Two years since he lost control. He couldn't help but think that it was his fault.

_In my place, in my place,  
Were lines that I couldn't change,  
I was lost, oh yeah._

He had never felt the same since. He survived each day then moved onto the next. Why did he have to be so righteous? Others basked in the glory of their sins while he lay in the shadows of duty. The shadows that became emptier each day, less friends and weight behind his convictions.

_I was lost, I was lost,  
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed,  
I was lost, oh yeah._

He still grasped his integrity, yet the line between black and white was now a soft smudge of grey. The clear cut distinction lost.

_And yeah, how long must you wait for it?  
Yeah, how long must you pay for it?  
Yeah, how long must you wait for it?_

He was still alone. He had visions of her returning to him; saving her, he it was her he should be saving. Maybe he wasn't the man he used to be. Maybe he deserved his life-sentence.

I was scared, I was scared,  
Tired and under prepared,  
But I wait for it.

Even if he found her, and proved her innocence, would she want to be saved? Why would she abandon yet another life to return to him? This thought chilled him more than any other.

_And if you go, if you go,  
Leave me down here on my own,  
Then I'll wait for you, yeah._

Part of him wished her happiness and part of him begrudged her any joy. He wanted her, needed her. The thought of her in another man's arms, another man's wife, in another man's life made him shudder.

_Yeah, how long must you wait for it?  
Yeah, how long must you pay for it?  
Yeah, how long must you wait for it?  
Oh for it_

Would he ever get her back? He often thought of retiring and running to find her. What would he find?

_Sing it please, please, please,  
Come back and sing to me,  
To me, me._

_Come on and sing it out, now, now.  
Come on and sing it out  
To me, me  
Come back and sing._

Desperation set in, as always, and the tears spilled down his cheeks, as always. A broken man downed his drink.

_In my place, in my place,  
Were lines that I couldn't change,  
I was lost, oh yeah.  
Oh yeah._


	4. Clocks

**Nearly over now! Thanks to Lynn for looking at it for me! hugs.**

**

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**

**Clocks **

Mace had enemies everywhere; one of them had to be of use. He ploughed through files each night looking for something anything to destroy him. Yet in 2 months he had found nothing.

_The lights go out and I can't be saved  
Tides that I tried to swim against  
Have brought me down upon my knees  
Oh I beg, I beg and plead singing_

He could not be indestructible, he just couldn't. There had to be something or someone that would help him. "Please don't say anything; just leave it as something that was never said" He didn't think the truth was what she had in mind.

_  
Come out of things unsaid  
Shoot an apple off my head and a  
Trouble that cant be named  
A tiger's waiting to be tamed singing  
_

Sooner or later his answer would come. It had to and if it didn't he would not stop trying until it did. There had to be a skeleton somewhere.

Everything leaves a trace.

_  
You are  
You are  
_

He didn't know how he ended up in the DG's office with Juliet at his side; he didn't remember leaving either. His whole body was numb from head to toe. Relief?

_  
Confusion never stops  
Closing walls and ticking clocks  
Gonna come back and take you home  
I could not stop that you now know singing  
_

Every morning he wondered if he had dreamed it. He woke up and checked the copy of the newspaper enshrined on his bedside table. "Corrupt" in bold type; a large picture of Oliver Mace staring up at him, alive.

_  
Come out upon my seas,  
Cursed missed opportunities  
Am I a part of the cure  
Or am I part of the disease, singing_

It arrived, personally addressed to him in snobbish scrawl; the suicide note. An onlooker might mistake the cause of his anger being the lack of the suffering on the part of the deceased; no, it was the wish he could have stabbed him through the heart instead.

"An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth" a heart for a heart? 

You are, you are, you are  
You are, you are, you are

And nothing else compares  
And nothing else compares  
And nothing else compares

Ruth…

_You are  
You are  
Home, home where I wanted to go  
Home, home where I wanted to go  
Home, home where I wanted to go  
Home, home where I wanted to go_

_

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_**Only 2 or 3 more left now I promise!**


	5. What if

**Sorry its a long time since last update! Thankyou to Em for beta-ing it for me hugs **

* * *

**What if**

The question Harry dreaded. A brave man: he cowered from it. It rang in his head torturously at the perfect pitch to damage human hearing.

_What if there was no light  
Nothing wrong, nothing right  
What if there was no time  
And no reason or rhyme  
What if you should decide  
That you don't want me there by your side  
That you don't want me there in your life_

Time had passed since they parted. What if she had forgotten him? What if he was just a distant memory?

_What if I got it wrong  
And no poem or song  
Could put right what I got wrong  
Or make you feel I belong  
What if you should decide  
That you don't want me there by your side  
That you don't want me there in your life  
_

She would be getting on with life. She would have new friends, a new job and a new love? Why should she take him back?

_  
Oooh, that's right  
Let's take a breath, jump over the side  
Oooh, that's right  
How can you know it if you don't even try  
Oooh, that's right  
_

Adam and Ros were in him in his office, telling him to "pick up the bloody phone and call her". He knew he had to, he new he wanted to… so why was it so hard?

_  
Every step that you take  
Could be your biggest mistake  
It could bend or it could break  
But that's the risk that you take  
What if you should decide  
That you don't want me there in your life  
That you don't want me there by your side  
_

Maybe she would prefer to be left alone. Maybe she wanted to live her new life and forget her old identity. Would she even be the same person? Would she still love him?

_  
Ooh, that's right  
Let's take a breath, jump over the side  
Ooh, that's right  
How can you know it when you don't even try  
Ooh, that's right  
_

He rubbed the piece of paper with black ink scribble between his thumb and fingers. He had memorised the number. He grasped the phone in his hand and jumped.

_  
Ooh, that's right  
Let's take a breath, jump over the side  
Ooh, that's right  
You know the darkness always turns into light  
Ooh, that's right_

"Hello?"


	6. Fix you

**Em is a star! Only one more left after this!**

_

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_

_Fix you __  
_"Ruth?"

"Harry?"

_When you try your best but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want but not what you need  
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse_

The familiar voice sent an unstoppable wave of numbness passing though her. It was as if the world was spinning one way and her the other.

She had tried so hard to live like a normal person. She had tried so hard to forget the web of lies and deceit behind her, but she had failed.

_And the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse  
_

Finally it was over, her exile lifted, freedom granted. Relief flowed from her and her eyes overflowed.

_  
Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you  
_

"Ruth?"

_  
And high up above or down below  
When you're too in love to let it go  
But if you never try you'll never know  
Just what you're worth  
_

It had been over two years since she had been called Ruth. Two long years. Every feeling she had for Harry came back to her in an instant, they had never gone away.

_  
Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you  
_

She would see him again. The love she thought she had lost forever.

_  
Tears stream down your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
Tears stream down your face  
And i…  
Tears stream down your face  
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes  
Tears stream down your face  
And i…  
_

She had no clue what she would say to him.

_  
Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you_

She just knew she had to go…

For surely then I should have sight

Of him I wait for day and night,

With love and longings infinite

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**The last few lines are not mine I borrowed tham from a Affliction of Margaret by Willam Wordsworth... I had to put two years of English lit to some use!!!**


	7. The Scientist

**Last chapter at last! Thanks to Em (again lol)**

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The Scientist 

All five of his team watched from the van as the couple made their first tentative steps towards each other.

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry  
You don't know how lovely you are_

_I had to find you  
Tell you I need you  
Tell you I set you apart_

"You didn't get shot."

"You still wear the same bloody necklace."

Laughing, they embraced.

Tell me your secrets  
And ask me your questions  
Oh let's go back to the start

_Running in circles  
Coming up tails  
Heads on a silence apart  
_

They walked from the bridge to his house. She wanted to say so much to him, but couldn't speak. She didn't know how to express two years worth of love, longing and overwhelming gratitude. He had saved her.

"Thank you"

_  
Nobody said it was easy  
It's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be this hard  
_

She woke up, finding herself in bed - his bed - with his arms wrapped tightly around her. She wanted to stay there forever.

_  
Oh take me back to the start  
_

The daily threat assessment was on the screen in front of her as she sat at her desk. Back where she belonged.

_  
I was just guessing  
At numbers and figures  
Pulling your puzzles apart_

_Questions of science  
Science and progress  
Do not speak as loud as my heart  
_

He hoped she would say yes.

_  
Tell me you love me  
Come back and haunt me  
Oh and I rush to the start_

_Running in circles  
Chasing our tails  
Coming back as we are  
_

"Yes"

_  
Nobody said it was easy  
Oh it's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be so hard  
_

He allowed himself to remember life without her… just a distant nightmare as Adam kept telling him to hurry up.

_  
I'm going back to the start_

_Running in circles  
Chasing our tails  
Coming back as we are  
_

No one would forget Adam's speech, or his dancing for that matter. Then there was Ruth, who looked perfect in her white dress. She was still wearing that bloody necklace.

_  
Nobody said it was easy  
Oh it's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be so hard  
I'm going back to the start_

Apparently Paris was a beautiful city. Harry and Ruth sat there staring aimlessly at the passing people her hand in his for about 10 minutes. "Back to the room Mrs Pearce?"

"Definitely"


End file.
